What It’s Like To Be In Love When You Have Depression

Thought Catalog

“No one will love you until you learn to love yourself” is an easy enough phrase to believe is true. But it’s terrifying, especially when you have depression. What if you never learn? As a teenager, it made me fear for my life as an adult. I was certain I would never be capable of being in a relationship, but I was very wrong. Honestly, I do not like myself very much, and in August of 2013, a boy fell very, very much in love with me.

I have dealt with depression for as long as I can remember. I’ve been on and off medications, been to therapy, but it’s still alive and well, comfortable in its home in my bones. I can feel it every day, a tiny inkling that causes breathtaking emotional pain at the most inconvenient of times.

My depression doesn’t care that I am in a…

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ITS YOU, ITS ALWAYS BEEN YOU

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,

Hey you!

The Girl with those beautiful eyes.

Yeah, you!

I lost my heart.

And I blame it all on you.

Can’t you be little less pretty?

Cause you caused my heart to lose its heart too.

I thought that I’ll never fall in love again

But after seeing you, that thought still remains same.

I will never fall in love again

Cause you will be my love till the end

I know there will be millions to die for you

But I want to become the one, who’ll live for you

Can you feel what I’m trying to say?

Cause I want you to know what I’m going to say.

Is that, you have become my life

And I want you to become my wife

I know I haven’t lost my heart

I know you are the one who has stolen my heart

But I don’t care whether you return it or not.

Because my heart also loves to just be your part.

Okay? I’m ready to live without a heart

Okay! I’m gonna live just for your heart

Cause, I know may be only deep down but you also love me

And I know one day you’ll feel That and come for me.

Then you’ll find me waiting at your doorstep

With a diamond ring for your finger

And I’ll be there as same as I’m now for you

For only you

Cause it’s you

And it’s always been you

Only you

~Abhi Severus Jackson

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A STORY WORTH TELLING:

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I woke up with her name on my lips,

And I’m dying to canon this ship.

Next thing I did, just a matter of fact,

Saw her face, thought about nothing else.

I want to start this day, like I am living for her;

I want to tell her, how much I dying love her.

Show her, how I can be anything for her;

But i really don’t want her to know this,

Cause I don’t want to ruin our friendship.

You know! She’s the reason,

I’m not sleeping at night,

Cause I don’t want to miss a chance to talk with her.

Now you must be willing to know how she looks

But I must remind you that there is no word to describe her

When you’ll see her, you’ll be watching the best person of world

But this is the smallest compliment I can give it to her

Cause not only she is flawless from outside

But she is also perfect from inside.

Those who know her, would know I’m talking truth

But those who don’t, Believe me I’m talking truth.

She’s is the girl of every guy’s dream

But I seriously don’t wanna dream her

Cause dreams are so half-baked

I don’t want to dream her; I want to make her my certainty

Cause she is now my reason for living.

And I can’t live without her.

I know I’m no match for her,

But I still am hoping for super.

She’s the bravest, and the courageous one,

There can’t be anyone better than her,

There can’t be anyone as much as her.

She’s the infinity that makes other infinite look so small

She’s the feather of my heart

She’s the angel of the god

She’s the perfectionist of the beauty

She’s the warrior from infinity

To all those poor nightmares, who are trying to annoy her?

You should really don’t mess with her

Cause if you somehow survive her,

Then deal with the person who cares about her more than himself

I know she has seen many ups and downs in life,

And I assure you, I’m ready to be her Peeta,

And become her Tobias for rest of my life.

I can say more million things about her,

But it’ll still remain a bit of her.

The reason I want to tell you this story

Is the reason, that’s the reason for this story.

And I could win this world with just one hand,

As long as she is holding the other.

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